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the devil gave me a crooked start when he gave me crooked feet

I want to update this more.

I think I SHOULD update this more.

Maybe it'll help me focus my thoughts and feelings better than tumblr/twitter/facebook does, because I think all those serve as are distractions to things I should maybe be rolling around and thinking about. Don't get me wrong, tum/twit/fb are great for my random bullshit and short things, but there's been a lot going on that I feel I need to really lay out and process and LJ's always been good for me with that.

Plus, I've been told I don't ENJOY things anymore. I complain a lot. I bitch a lot. About things that don't even need it. It makes people not want to actually converse with me because I'll probably find something to complain about. I think that my bitching is a stand in for me to feel like I give a fuck about something because, honestly, it's been near impossible to muster up fucks for anything in the last 6+ months. LJ was always a place where I could talk about good and bad and in length instead of in tags on a post on tumblr if something about a subject even came across my dash.

Maybe this'll help me just process things better overall. I don't know.

But I went through and did a bunch of housekeeping here. New layout (of course), cleared my interests list (it's needed updated for years), removed the sticky (full of outdated info), need to make a new profile thing (because of course i do). I'm still debating on keeping it public or friends only. I dunno.

I know there's not many people over on these parts anymore, but I think even yelling into the void is helpful for me.

So, it's a start.



General Updates:

Still working at the university library. I applied for the position of the Stacks Management Supervisor who resigned (three of the student supervisors did, actually) and I interviewed really well, but my attendance bit me in the ass (samcat's death, plus a few things before that). The position ended up going to another student supe, Liz, which we all kind of expected anyhow. But I'm super happy for her! I'm hoping something else comes open before the end of the summer, at least. I have great references and I interview well and I have 3+ years of work experience, so I'm pretty well suited for a lot of stuff in the circ/stacks departments.

Since that, I've been re-assigned to the basement, which I love. I was on the 6th floor, which is Periodicals. But some shifting happened and now I'm downstairs. I got assigned a huge project (pre-1900s) and my students are great, so I can't complain! Work keeps me busy, which gives me stuff to do and focus on, which has been much needed lately.

I'm still trudging through classes. Can't take on campus stuff for my major because I don't have enough money, so it's just more fluff/core classes. But whatever. It keeps me my job, so I'll put up with it. I'm taking a Young Adult Literature class this semester, so a lot of reading! Maybe I'll post about that. We're reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower right now and it's alright. I'd avoided bothering much with it for a long time, but I like it enough.

A friend also recommended Fox 8 and let me listen to some of her audiobook and I really enjoyed it! The audiobook narrator is quite good, as well, considering he's portraying a fox.

I've been drawing a little bit again, which has been nice. I've also got a couple badge commissions to finish, which are pretty fun to do.






I'm not gonna post everything, so here's a link to my artblog. I've done a bit of stuff since summer, at least, including a bunch of nice traditional pieces! I've also been posting art reference, tutorials, and stuff for Photoshop and Sai brushes on my artblog.

In other news, I'm hoping I can get new glasses and maybe a new, cheap phone with my tax refund this year. That'd be nice.
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laugh until we think we’ll die

Yesterday we marched in the Pride parade in Cleveland with the leather group we're a part of. It was really, really hot and the parade goes from downtown near Tower City to Voinovich Park by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It's about a mile. A mile is not that far at all. A mile is extremely far in a staggered parade (we line up on a four lane street and then each lane goes one at a time to make the whole parade) in 90F weather in downtown Cleveland with no shade. Thankfully, that was probably the worst part of the day. I did manage to acquire sunscreen (because i was like herp derp i'll wear a tank top because it won't be too long and it's only a mile and i didn't think to consider zero shade and the super hot weather), so I only got burnt the places I forgot to put sunscreen, like around my neck and the collar of my shirt. Way to go, me. I think there might be a little on the back of my arms, too, but it's not awful.

Tony carried the transgender flag for our group, naturally, and I helped carry the fuckall huge leather flag.




Despite the heat and the sun and the lack of shade, the parade was really nice and it was really great to see Angel Action blocking the usual handful of protesters that always show up.

At the park, we hung out for about an hour and I got custard because that's the kind of thing you should eat on a ninety-something degree day. After a round or two around the park, we met back up with folks and let them know we were out for the afternoon, heading to the zoo, and we'd see them at the bar that evening.



EDIT: OH MY GOD I LEFT A WHOLE BUNCH OF SHIT OUT

After Pride, we HEADED to the zoo, but first we stopped at the West Side Market, because it's on the way and, of course, we love the market. We were super said to find out that J&J Meats isn't making the chicken jerky EVER AGAIN. It was a sad moment. But we bought some of their regular jerky and the guy who helped me last time recognized me, so that was nice!

I also stopped at Cake Royale for, of course, macarons and freaking Bailey's irish cream cannoli. The had Nutella macarons and they were delicious.

After grabbing noms, we went over to Horizontal Books which, if you've never been, is amazing. They discount stuff according to how many items you purchase (50% off one, 60% off two, 70% off three). We ended up buying...

Dragon's Luck by Robert Asprin
Socks Appeal: 16 Fun & Funky Friends Sewn from Socks by Brenna Maloney
How to Save Your Tail*: *if you are a rat nabbed by cats who really like stories about magic spoons, wolves with snout-warts, big, hairy chimney trolls...and cookies, too. by Mary Hanson
Bad Girls: Sirens, Jezebels, Murderesses, Thieves & Other Female Villains by Jane Yolen and Heidi E. Y. Stemple
The Year of the Beasts by Cecil Castellucci and Nate Powell
Repossessed by A. M. Jenkins


...as well as a Winter Soldier trade, some glow in the dark scratch paper, and a Scythian metalworking kit.



THEN WE WENT TO THE ZOO

And we actually got to spend time walking around and doing stuff, cause we got there around 3PM, I think, maybe 2PM. But the zoo is open until 7PM in the summer, so we could check out all the exhibits and take our time. We haven't been to the zoo in, literally, years, so it was nice to do that. Other times, as well, we were always in a hurry to see things and then go somewhere else, but since we didn't have to be at the bar until 8PM or 9PM, it was nice to be able to take our time.

I took a lot of pics which I will stuff behind a cut...


Collapse )


After the zoo, we still had an hour to blow and were hungry, so we decided to hit up the asian markets and drive by Koko Bakery and see if maybe possibly they were open (the last time i knew, they closed at 7pm). Much to our delight, Koko's was still open and we bought a whole bunch of buns and tasty things (like castella cake with lemon in it!) and sat and got off our feet for a little while before stopping over at Park to Shop and then heading out to the bar.



The bar was mostly uneventful aside from the presence of Douchebag Who Isn't Allowed To Talk To Tony (which was the only negative) and Tony winning a t-shirt (which, of course, was a positive!). We hung around and helped sell raffle tickets and socialized before heading out early around midnight and making the long drive home to Kent.

It was a long, long day, but it wasn't nearly as grueling as I anticipated it to be, and that was nice.

ALSO BEFORE I FORGET AND AS A NOTE TO MYSELF TONY SUGGESTED DRAWING OUR NYC CHARACTERS A LA HUMANS OF NEW YORK AND I AM SO ON BOARD WITH DOING THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW /HEAVY BREATHING



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
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carved in cursive with a table fork



I did not expect Iron & Wine to be as absolutely stellar as they were. I expected them to be good, don't get me wrong, I've heard live recordings and stuff, but I was not prepared at all. They did a mix of songs I wasn't quite familiar with (some off their new album, which i haven't listened to much) and some stuff I absolutely love. They did Resurrection Fern, Woman King (which they opened with), Boy with a Coin, an absolutely amazing Freedom Hangs Like Heaven, Me and Lazarus, The Trapeze Swinger, etc. I got really emotional a couple times, which I kind of expected and kind of didn't? I dunno, sometimes listening to people be really into their music sets something off in me. I was definitely tearing up at most of my favorites, but I legitimately cried at their encore song, Muddy Hymnal, which I absolutely didn't expect them to play. I was hoping for Naked as We Came, Evening on the Ground, or Walking Far From Home, but I wasn't expecting Muddy Hymnal and it was really amazing.

Also, Sam briefly started playing Freebird after someone shouted it and then said 'be careful what you wish for, motherfuckers'.

Now I have a headache, but whatever.

The only obnoxious parts were the frat bros a few seats down who wanted to stand for a whole song (the kent stage is all seating, a bit like a theatre) and people kept telling them to sit down and an usher eventually had to come out and scold them. Then, behind me, was #1 Super Fan who talked just a little too loud and was just waaaay into everything Sam Beam was doing and it was pretty annoying but I was able to tune most of it out.

The opening band was The Secret Sisters, who I'd never heard before, but I think I'd heard of them, y'know? They were great, however. They were adorable and had cute southern accents and I immediately bought their newest CD and had it signed. I also informed the one girl of what the animal she saw when she was walking down by the river (it was a groundhog). They were really sweet.

I bought, as mentioned above, a CD and also one of the 250 limited Iron & Wine posters because it speaks to me on a spiritual level.





[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
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when i run through the deep dark forest long after this begun

A lot of stuff has happened since I last updated around Christmas and a lot needs to go behind a cut just because it's more fetish-y sort of chatter that I'm a bit more careful with, essentially. But I guess I'll get around to working backwards and posting about that stuff, or I'll do a bullet list or something like that.

As for recent things, which are more relevant...

I got a promotion at the library. I mean, it doesn't really feel like a promotion, but I'm a student supervisor now and that comes with a solid twenty hours per week and a pay raise from $9.00/hr to $10.25/hr. Most of it's stuff I already know or have kind of quasi been doing already, but I'm also getting cross trained for circulation (i'm stacks, which means we deal primarily with re-shelving books and doing shifting and shelf reading projects. but i'm also basement currently, which means i actually deal with microfilm/fiche/cards and the pre-1900 project) and also trained to open/close the building on some shifts. I've been navigating the student employee/student supervisor environment for awhile, since I'm good friends with the basement supervisor and on pretty good terms with the other supervisors. There's a ridiculous lack of communication in some places and it's already frustrating to know about (even though i've known about it forever). There's a little of petty politics, but whatever. All that shit rolls off of me anyhow.

The local library is also hiring for a part time position doing most of what I'm doing at the campus library now and I'm thinking of applying there, as well. It's something like 12-24 hours a week, which I don't think would kill me? I was doing 28 hours a week last semester between my two jobs.

Speaking of the other campus job, at the VCD resource room, I emailed the professor who's in charge of all that stuff at the encouragement of the VCD secretaries (who love tony and i) after I suggested it would be really good for the RR to have someone permanent/steady over there that knows all the ins and outs of the RR. Last year, especially, there was a huge lack of training for both students (so so so many kids got thrown in with absolutely zero training because the new managers - grad students who run the room each year - didn't bother to have a meeting or interview people or train anyone because printing is super easy right??? even though some kids had never touched a mac in their lives) and for the new managers (who also got no training). I ended up picking up a lot of slack off the clock just to make sure that the new student employees knew what they were doing and didn't fuck anything up. There was still a lot of drama with communication and a stricter punishment system that the new managers put into place, not to mention the ridiculous micromanaging one of the managers did in the photo studio before she left for Texas.

But, as I was saying, I contacted the professor that runs the RR and PS and suggested the idea and offered myself as the person best suited for the job (not even tooting my own horn, i really am, since i've been there the longest and i like the job and i'm willing to learn new things and help out students with adobe programs). I haven't heard anything back, I dunno if I will. I don't know if I'll be able to do both jobs next semester, since we're restricted to 28 hours a week as student employees. If VCD put me on contract/hired me into the university, that'd be different, but I don't realistically foresee that happening. I'd like it to, but I know department budgets are tight and all that.

On top of those campus-related things, I'm going to get hit with a 'time percent complete' violation after this semester because I'm at 97 hours attempted/60-some hours completed and I haven't completed a degree program (let alone my fine arts major because i can't afford on campus classes and paying my rent). I'm slightly worried, but I'll figure something out. Worst case, I guess I could just declare liberal arts and complete that and then declare fine arts as a second major and do that?? I dunno.



This weekend is going to be pretty busy, same with the next week and, of course, Anthrocon is on the July 4th weekend. This week, however, is Pride in Cleveland and Tony has to be there and be in the parade and we're marching with the group we're involved with. We'd really rather stay home, but Tony has obligations, so we're going to make the best of it. It's going to be an exceptionally long day around a lot of people and I think that's mostly what we're both dreading. But we're going to break off and go to the zoo or something in the afternoon and maybe go to the West Side Market before going to the bar in the evening. It also kind of sucks because we usually do our tests for class on Saturday, but we have to squeeze them in Friday, since we won't be able to do them by their due time at midnight on Saturday.

Tomorrow (or, well, today, since it's three in the morning already), I'm going to see Iron & Wine at the Kent Stage!! I'm pretty stoked because I was super sad about not being able to go see them when they came to Cleveland a few years back and, after we saw Bastille last month (oh yeah we saw bastille and it was pretty awesome), I checked up on concerts in the upcoming months (we usually check way ahead of time when we have a little money and buy tickets if there's anything we want to see) and saw that Iron & Wine was actually going to be in Kent and it was the best thing ever.

The only downside is that, when I come home, I have to bust ass and get stuff gathered for Pride on Saturday and we have to get up early-ish to go up to campus to get our rental Zipcar from, ugh, all the way over by Eastway because they changed our car reservation from the one we like to take to a hybrid we've never used before. The one we usually take is right up by c-midway, so we can just catch the bus to there and then walk to the car that's parked behind c-midway. Now we have to walk all the way over to Eastway to get the car AND we'll have to walk all the way across campus at 4AM when we return the car after coming home.

Sunday and Monday I have off, so there's a little bit of downtime. But it's also the week before Anthrocon and we're still a little mad about the car still being out of commission (we've had two friends look at it and tell us they could fix it, but nothing's come of it and the most recent one wouldn't be so annoying if said friend would just tell us what's up or if it can't be done until after the convention that would be totally okay just uuuugh communication people). But we have two different offers for rides to and from the con, so there's that, at least. It's annoying to be without the car for a trip, but we don't exactly drive in Pittsburgh while we're there anyhow and we still have our solo room anyhow.

I have a handful of things to put in the art show since I'm not doing Artist's Alley this year for a number of reasons, mostly because I've stopped doing commissions and I don't feel like 'working' on my vacation. I'm still trying to finish some stuff up and put some things together, but it's a slow process, since I've been busy with work and my period last week was pretty rough (i slept a lot and wanted to cry a lot and was in a really shitty mood and was crampier than usual it was just gross overall and i didn't want to do anything). I also have to do the whole house cleaning thing before being gone for four days and make sure the animals all have everything they need and it's just a whole fucking lot of stuff to squeeze inbetween work and much needed downtime to detox in general (not that my job is very hard or anything, but i like to load around for awhile after i get home from work).



I got a haircut the other day and I'm still getting used to it. My hair had gotten super long, it was down to the middle of my back. I'd been letting it grow out because I was letting my side shave grow out and it had been winter, so it wasn't terribly hot and blah blah thought I'd try long-long hair again. But then the weather got hot and I couldn't pull it up without half of it still resting on my neck so I decided to chop most of it off again.



It's layered around the back, but with a razor cut. I wish I'd be more adamant about wanting a chunky cut over just a razor cut, but I dunno. I always think it'll look the same, I guess?? It'll grow out decently, though. The only downside, and this is caused mostly by my sideshave, is that there's some hair in the front that's shorter than the rest, but it just kind of hangs around limply. If I trim it shorter it's probably going to look weird and I can't pull off bangs very well. My hair just refuses to go forward, I guess? I dunno, I'd like cute swoop bangs to hide my giant forehead, but they never seem to stick.

But now it's shorter and it's cute when I pull it into a ponytail and my sideshave is almost long enough to pull back with the rest of my hair instead of sticking out and looking weird.



And now it's 3:30AM and I should be asleep because I have work tomorrow and a long day of stuff.



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
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i am literally the worst at updating

Jesus christ, Christmas? Really?? I keep meaning to and I just keep posting short shit in other places because I'm lazy at hell.

I'm going to try again and I'm going to try to start posting more regularly.



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
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    sleepy
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Journal-based Housekeeping

I'm doing a lot of cleaning up clutter on my journals and other social-based places. I went through and removed a number of people who hadn't updated their journals in many, many, many weeks from my friends list (no offense intended, of course!). I know some people still read journal posts, but don't actually post anymore themselves (like i often do), so if you're in that category and I've removed you, but you still want to see all my posts and stuff, just leave a comment and let me know!



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
  • Current Mood
    bored
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Holiday Shenanigan Recap

Christmas was nice. I went over my mom's, as I usually do. Of course, this time it was at 6AM and I got roped into helping prep and cook food for dinner, which lasted nearly all day. But I didn't mind too much, I like helping out in the kitchen anyhow. We made tons of food, too, two turkeys and ham and lots of sides and snacks and desserts. It was a pretty big throwdown, but there were also eight or so people there. I ended up taking a lot of food home because of how much there was.




When I came home, Tony and I laid around and ate and watched a two hour Rammstein concert on youtube.



This last weekend was crazy.

Since the car is still out of commission and we wanted to go to an event in Cleveland, we asked if we could crash with some friends attending/hosting the same event. We took the bus up Friday evening and that went over well. Got pizza, watched Thor, chilled out and then went to the bar to socialize and get out of the house. Saturday we went to the event at the same bar and had a really good time, met new people, talked with others, it was really nice. I was glad we got to go because Tony was really looking forward to it.

I have lots of pictures from Saturday night buuuuuuuuut....you'll have to ask for my Fetlife. :V

Sunday, we got dropped off at Tower City to catch the bus back home, but had enough time to pop down to Koko Bakery and get some delicious baked goods before making it back to the bus stop and...waiting. And waiting. And where the fuck is the bus. Called PARTA and discovered...the Sunday Cleveland Express does not run over the break. There was nothing that stated this on either the schedule (which i had a pdf of) or the website itself. The guy on the phone was really sympathetic and, apparently, we were not the first people with this issue. Thankfully, it wasn't too much of an issue, as we just called up the friends we were staying with before and crashed for another night. Ended up ordering delicious chinese food and loafing around for the night until Monday when we got dropped back off at Tower City and caught the bus back home on time.




Being gone from home for longer than expected makes me antsy because I worry about the animals, but everything at home was fine (squeeji peeked in the windows to make sure everything looked okay while we were out, as well) and the cats were happy to have us home because, god forbid, they could see the bottom of their food dishes.



Last night, we went to hang out with friends for a New Year's Eve party. Said friends recently moved within a couple blocks of us, so it's a lot easier to get there and back, even if it was cold out! The usual party shenanigans were in order, naturally.







[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
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something under the trees that made you cry

Six months between posts. I am a terrible blogger. It's not even that I didn't want to, either. I kept meaning to and going 'hey i should write about this', but then I never did. Distracted or otherwise caught up with something else.

I'm on the rag, so I should really just wait and write a new entry until I'm feel less like a sad sack of shit, but I figure I'll cover a few things now, like art and little updates, and try to keep my bad mood out of it.



I stopped taking commissions at the beginning of October, which is really one of the best decisions I've made. My art productivity has been through the roof since then and now that I don't feel guilty for doing personal work instead of working on commissions, I'm just doing a lot more stuff and learning a lot more overall. It feels really good, to say the least. I update my artblog often and with stuff I don't post on FA/DA/wherever: http://obliviousally.tumblr.com Lots of sketches and doodles, works in progress, and random stuff, mostly.



Some little portraits I drew right after posting about not taking anymore commissions. They're just little 500x500 headshot/icons things. One of Ally, one for a local furry chick, and one of Phe.


Lots and lots of art! You have no idea how good this makes me feel. I'm pretty sure I've drawn more in the last three months than I did in all of 2012.


Some adoptables I drew while FA was down. They're still up for grabs (i need to edit the descriptions).


Aaaaand, also, some art I've gotten in the last couple months. Most were requests/gifts, but some were small paid commissions from over the summer. Only one is missing from here, because it's adult: horrible kaiju/Jaeger pilot porn.






This school semester was pretty rough.

Tony and I both had some kind of bronchitis starting in August and running almost halfway through September. It was awful. I was running a fever so high one night that our hairless cat (whose body temperature is always about three or four degrees higher than a human's) felt lukewarm to me and I thought HE was sick. It was awful. Coughing so hard you'd throw up, being too sick to get up and do anything, just laying in bed for days on end. Awful.

Then, my mom had a massive heart attack at the beginning of September. She woke up in the middle of the night, told Bud she was having a heart attack, drove herself to the hospital, and walked in to inform them of what was happening and immediately went into cardiac arrest. They had to go CPR for almost forty-five minutes and they shocked her with the paddles about ten times (she has scars from them now). She was life flighted to Cleveland Metro and was in critical condition for forty-eight hours. It was pretty hectic. I'd woken up that morning with a message on Facebook from Bud saying that she was in the hospital and she'd had a heart attack, but I'd passed it off since I wasn't awake yet and, to be honest, my mom's been in and out of the hospital a lot the last couple years (she's had two minor strokes, among a plethora of other things), so I figured it wasn't anything serious until I called him a few hours later and he was almost crying on the phone.

I ended up taking the bus up to Cleveland, which was a fun adventure, but it was also less stress/less money on gas, since I figured I'd be stuck staying up there for the night anyhow. The evening wasn't terribly stressful, as there was nothing that could be done but wait for her condition to get in the clear. The next morning was stressful because Lynn, Bud's mom, was freaking out about leaving her at the hospital because Bud had to go back to Warren and take care of things and Lynn herself needed to go home and I needed to go home and go to work. Full blown meltdown when she saw a bird in the lobby. I was not aware, beforehand, that birds in the house/a building are a bad omen/mean people dying. Which, of course, is ridiculous when it comes to a hospital because there's people dying there every day. So I was thankful when I got home and didn't have to deal with her in context of the hospital anymore.

I love Lynn, but I cannot deal with that level of freak-out when it comes to these kinds of situations. I just don't over-react. The whole time I was calm and collected and I think the nurses liked dealing with my inquiries about things more than Bud, who thought he knew everything that was going on and was doubly frustrating when we were asking the social worker what steps we needed to take so my mom could get her medication and aftercare paid for. Bud thought the social worker would be able to magically wave a wand and fix shit, but I knew otherwise and, as next of kin, I had the say anyhow.

The next of kin thing was scary for a bit there, too. Because my mom has explicitly stated to me on numerous occasions that she does not want to be a vegetable and if I needed to, I could tell the doctors to pull the plug. I never felt like that was a thing that was going to happen, but it was still there in the back of my mind.

After she started coming to, it was a weird couple of days as the medication wore off. They had her on something that gave her temporary amnesia so she would be hazy each time she woke up (on top of that, she was also restrained to the bed and had all sorts of stuff down her throat and stuff). So when she started coming back around and they started easing her off the medication, she was confused about what year it was and who all was still alive. Bud freaked out and thought that her asking about her brother and mother and the kids was her losing fifteen years and I had to explain to him that it was the medication and she didn't lose fifteen years and just calm your tits, christ. But when he called and said that, I was legitimately scared for a moment, because that's what started happening to my grandmother before she went crazy and I just can't cope with that level of disconnect.

Once she was back to normal, things were better for the most part. They had to focus on clearing out some blood clots and she was back in the hospital a few weeks later due to that, but it wasn't too bad overall. The biggest surprise that came out of the whole thing was that my youngest sister, Adri, went up to see her at the hospital. We haven't actually seen the kids in person in about ten or fifteen years, my mom probably longer than that, but my mom's been in contact with Adri for the last couple years and they've actually been catching up because she's willing to give my mom a second chance. Their grandmother really fucked them up with the mental manipulation, so one out of three ain't bad.

But all of that mess kept me really distracted from work and school for about two solid months, then I had to play catchup and I passed one of my classes, but I completely bombed out of the other one, so I have to do an appeal again and hope they're not tired of seeing my name.



Blah blah, tired of writing right now. Typical. I need to sort through my brain and my Facebook and pull out any other relevant events in the last six months.



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]