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something under the trees that made you cry

Six months between posts. I am a terrible blogger. It's not even that I didn't want to, either. I kept meaning to and going 'hey i should write about this', but then I never did. Distracted or otherwise caught up with something else.

I'm on the rag, so I should really just wait and write a new entry until I'm feel less like a sad sack of shit, but I figure I'll cover a few things now, like art and little updates, and try to keep my bad mood out of it.



I stopped taking commissions at the beginning of October, which is really one of the best decisions I've made. My art productivity has been through the roof since then and now that I don't feel guilty for doing personal work instead of working on commissions, I'm just doing a lot more stuff and learning a lot more overall. It feels really good, to say the least. I update my artblog often and with stuff I don't post on FA/DA/wherever: http://obliviousally.tumblr.com Lots of sketches and doodles, works in progress, and random stuff, mostly.



Some little portraits I drew right after posting about not taking anymore commissions. They're just little 500x500 headshot/icons things. One of Ally, one for a local furry chick, and one of Phe.


Lots and lots of art! You have no idea how good this makes me feel. I'm pretty sure I've drawn more in the last three months than I did in all of 2012.


Some adoptables I drew while FA was down. They're still up for grabs (i need to edit the descriptions).


Aaaaand, also, some art I've gotten in the last couple months. Most were requests/gifts, but some were small paid commissions from over the summer. Only one is missing from here, because it's adult: horrible kaiju/Jaeger pilot porn.






This school semester was pretty rough.

Tony and I both had some kind of bronchitis starting in August and running almost halfway through September. It was awful. I was running a fever so high one night that our hairless cat (whose body temperature is always about three or four degrees higher than a human's) felt lukewarm to me and I thought HE was sick. It was awful. Coughing so hard you'd throw up, being too sick to get up and do anything, just laying in bed for days on end. Awful.

Then, my mom had a massive heart attack at the beginning of September. She woke up in the middle of the night, told Bud she was having a heart attack, drove herself to the hospital, and walked in to inform them of what was happening and immediately went into cardiac arrest. They had to go CPR for almost forty-five minutes and they shocked her with the paddles about ten times (she has scars from them now). She was life flighted to Cleveland Metro and was in critical condition for forty-eight hours. It was pretty hectic. I'd woken up that morning with a message on Facebook from Bud saying that she was in the hospital and she'd had a heart attack, but I'd passed it off since I wasn't awake yet and, to be honest, my mom's been in and out of the hospital a lot the last couple years (she's had two minor strokes, among a plethora of other things), so I figured it wasn't anything serious until I called him a few hours later and he was almost crying on the phone.

I ended up taking the bus up to Cleveland, which was a fun adventure, but it was also less stress/less money on gas, since I figured I'd be stuck staying up there for the night anyhow. The evening wasn't terribly stressful, as there was nothing that could be done but wait for her condition to get in the clear. The next morning was stressful because Lynn, Bud's mom, was freaking out about leaving her at the hospital because Bud had to go back to Warren and take care of things and Lynn herself needed to go home and I needed to go home and go to work. Full blown meltdown when she saw a bird in the lobby. I was not aware, beforehand, that birds in the house/a building are a bad omen/mean people dying. Which, of course, is ridiculous when it comes to a hospital because there's people dying there every day. So I was thankful when I got home and didn't have to deal with her in context of the hospital anymore.

I love Lynn, but I cannot deal with that level of freak-out when it comes to these kinds of situations. I just don't over-react. The whole time I was calm and collected and I think the nurses liked dealing with my inquiries about things more than Bud, who thought he knew everything that was going on and was doubly frustrating when we were asking the social worker what steps we needed to take so my mom could get her medication and aftercare paid for. Bud thought the social worker would be able to magically wave a wand and fix shit, but I knew otherwise and, as next of kin, I had the say anyhow.

The next of kin thing was scary for a bit there, too. Because my mom has explicitly stated to me on numerous occasions that she does not want to be a vegetable and if I needed to, I could tell the doctors to pull the plug. I never felt like that was a thing that was going to happen, but it was still there in the back of my mind.

After she started coming to, it was a weird couple of days as the medication wore off. They had her on something that gave her temporary amnesia so she would be hazy each time she woke up (on top of that, she was also restrained to the bed and had all sorts of stuff down her throat and stuff). So when she started coming back around and they started easing her off the medication, she was confused about what year it was and who all was still alive. Bud freaked out and thought that her asking about her brother and mother and the kids was her losing fifteen years and I had to explain to him that it was the medication and she didn't lose fifteen years and just calm your tits, christ. But when he called and said that, I was legitimately scared for a moment, because that's what started happening to my grandmother before she went crazy and I just can't cope with that level of disconnect.

Once she was back to normal, things were better for the most part. They had to focus on clearing out some blood clots and she was back in the hospital a few weeks later due to that, but it wasn't too bad overall. The biggest surprise that came out of the whole thing was that my youngest sister, Adri, went up to see her at the hospital. We haven't actually seen the kids in person in about ten or fifteen years, my mom probably longer than that, but my mom's been in contact with Adri for the last couple years and they've actually been catching up because she's willing to give my mom a second chance. Their grandmother really fucked them up with the mental manipulation, so one out of three ain't bad.

But all of that mess kept me really distracted from work and school for about two solid months, then I had to play catchup and I passed one of my classes, but I completely bombed out of the other one, so I have to do an appeal again and hope they're not tired of seeing my name.



Blah blah, tired of writing right now. Typical. I need to sort through my brain and my Facebook and pull out any other relevant events in the last six months.



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
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Anthrocon Recap!

So.

Anthrocon was really great this year.

Like, really, really completely un-stressfully great and fun and enjoyable.

In previous years, there's always been little bits (and sometimes big bits) of drama. I think it really just boils down to expected and assumed obligations, working around hotel roomies' schedules, and that kind of thing. This year, we flew solo. We were able to afford our own room, which is something we've wanted to do for many years now. Tony and I like our downtime and we also like not having to worry about people clashing with each other if we invite them back to our room - or having to work around others and get permission for guests if it's someone else's room. And, y'know, sometimes it's just nice to do things by yourself and, since we could afford it, that's what we did!

It was basically the best idea ever.

So, recap of the weekend.

We left Thursday morning, around 11AM or so. Our checkin wasn't until 3PM, so we figured if our room wasn't ready when we got there, we'd only have to bum around for about an hour. The drive to Pittsburgh, which is only about two hours, went smoothly. Traffic was sparse, we didn't get lost or off track until a pair of highway signs swapped on us at the last moment and, even then, we just got off the highway and went back the other way. Traffic in downtown Pittsburgh was nearly nonexistent and we got to the Westin much easier than we ever have in previous years. Unloading our car was quick and parking was just as fast.

We waited around the lobby for the elevators and ran into local buddies Bass, Willow, and Lauren. Then, we went all the way up to 1802 to dump our luggage out and return the cart for folks downstairs. After, we went over to registration and picked up our badges. I swear, after standing in the regular registration line - on any day - we're always going to pre-register now. The lines are so short and fast. While over there, we bummed around because I was super hot and sweaty and needed to cool down.

Tony decided he wanted to suit, so we went back to the room (after standing in the elevator line for about ten minutes) and I changed into something cute for shits and giggles.



Then we wandered around for a bit and, I think, we went to get food at Hanlon's Diner. Tony, at one point, was wearing Jokull (his tauntaun) and was handing out lei's to people.



After, we changed out of clothes, threw on our kigurumis, and spent the rest of the day wandering around and trying to find folks we generally see at the con. That evening, we went up to the convention center balcony to watch the fireworks for the 4th. They were pretty impressive, if a bit on the long side, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

Afterwards, we went down to the Zoo (the lounge area) and a girl accosted me because of my boar kigu and drew me a doodle.





Friday is official first day of the convention, which meant I was working in the Artist's Alley. I was woefully under prepared setup-wise, despite thinking I wasn't. I discovered I had no business cards of any sort! Go figure. Plus, I spent the first ten minutes after getting into the dealer's room running around crazy because I'd gotten a tag for a Dark Natasha badge for Tony, but none of his references were loading on my tablet, I didn't have any cash on me, my tablet was fucking up and I had to buy internet for it and then it CRASHED and I was pretty frazzled. Eventually, however, Tony made it down to the dealer's room and I gave him the tag for the badge and my tablet so he could go over and get his commission. Everything turned out better than expected.



I sat next to Friend Kelson and we bullshat a lot. I got a commission and discovered the nice new paper I bought to do commissions on before the convention doesn't hold ink well and it's very finicky with marker. So I had to deal with that while working on said commission, since I'd already sketched it out and wasn't going to re-draw it in my other sketchbook. Between working in the alley, I popped out once or twice to walk around the dealer's room with Tony because he wanted to show me things. He also bought me a copy of The Last Unicorn graphic novel and got it signed for me!



Payout for AA took forever, but we had some entertaining entertainment in the form of a dude with a guitar and two other guys singing. We were treated to a find rendition of 'What's Goin' On' and had a good laugh. After payout, I busted ass back to the room to drop my stuff off, grab Tony some noms, and then get down to the Zoo for the Supernatural Meetup Mantis/Drei and I was doing! Everyone was running late for stuff, so we didn't feel too badly about it. I was quite nice and everyone was appreciative of pizza and stickers. We talked about the show and our Supernatural-related creative things (Mantis runs asksupercatural on tumblr and Tony and I have our dumb SPN furry characters). Next year, we're going to do another one, but we're going to actually plan ahead this time!



Saturday was the fursuit parade and I decided to work in the alley only until 3PM, so that I would have some time to spend with Tony and browse the dealer's room and the art show. I got another commission in the alley which I decided to bring home so that I could do it justice. I helped Tony suit up and get down to the ballroom for the parade. He bought a flight suit for Jokull (as he's a pilot for the Systems Alliance) and the whole costume came together really well!



Before the parade (there were 1,300 suiters! we're going for a Guinness World Record this year!), I packed my stuff up in the alley and got pics of Tony by the Shelby Cobra that was at the convention.








He also met another tauntaun!



After the parade, Tony went up to the room to change out of his fursuit. We were waiting in the normal elevator line, because he was half out of suit anyhow, but two suiters still in costume ran up to us and asked us if we were together and, if so, they'd take us as their handlers to get into the fursuit line - which we all presumed would be significantly shorter. We were all wrong! But it was alright anyhow, as we stood around in line and bullshat with other suiters.

Then, we went back down to the dealer's room to shop. I bought a bunch of little trinkets, like I usually do. We bid on some stuff in the art show and, shockingly, won everything we bid on!



The above isn't everything, but mostly just my trinkets. Everything from the art show is still wrapped! We haven't taken it out to figure out where to hang it and such. My two favorite items I got, however, are a pair of fleece antlers (by LitheFider) and a teeny tiny kitten in a walnut shell.



On Saturday, we also went to have dinner at the Fish Market in the Westin hotel. They have amazing sushi, but our primary reason for going is the cream of blue crab soup and the cajun shrimp butter. It's was absolutely amazing and we try to go once every year.

Saturday evening, Rax came up to the room and we talked about all kind of shit. Kelson joined us for a short while and, every everyone left, Tony and I bummed around in bed and played Animal Crossing, as well as packed things up so we'd have less work in the morning for check out.



Got up early on Sunday so I'd be awake for Kelson to come by and grab his art stuff. Got a bath, finished packing everything up, gave Kelson his things, and then started dragging stuff down to the parking garage. It took three trips, mostly because the tote of fursuit stuff wouldn't bungee right onto the wheeled cart, but it wasn't a big deal. Once the car was packed and we were checked out, we went over to the dealer's room for last day browsing and waited for the art show to be wrapped up so we could pick up our pieces. We were surprised to see we won all of our bids and Tony also picked up an additional piece that hadn't been bidded on.

We said goodbye to the people we saw on the way out and then headed back home. Getting out of the city was pretty easy and, on the turnpike, we stopped and got some food at a rest stop. We were happy to get home, however, and I was happy to see the cats and see that the house was still in one piece.



It was a good con, though. We got to see everyone we normally see, even if just to say 'hi'. We had a nice time with zero stress and had loads of fun.

When we were in the dealer's room on Sunday, I almost bought a pastel pink and white tiger tail. Then, I decided I'd rather do a suit of a tiger hybrid based on a strawberry milkshake and that's all I could think about for the next two days. Which means it might actually happen for next year...





[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
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not all friendships need to be best friendships

You ever have that friend who is fine to hang out with now and then, for short periods of time, but you really don't want a really intensive friendship with them? Like, they're easy to get along with for the most part, and they're funny, and you have similar interests. But at the same time, they have a lot of personality traits you simple do not want to be around for any extended length of time? Except, they're not traits that are really glaring or overtly offensive, they're not racist or cruel, but they're just...kind of annoying after awhile?

It seems like they always want your attention - or someone's attention, anyone's attention - and you just don't have the energy to juggle their constant need to be around people or desire for entertainment in the form of friends. You don't hate them, but you can't keep up with their level of energy or want to do stuff - even if it's low key things like hanging out and watching television. You just want to hang out at home, in your own space, without feeling guilty or obligated to be social with someone.

But you make the effort to do social things with them and, in turn, invite them to social things you do. There's interest, at first, until they pout because they're no longer the center of attention. Card and board games become awkward and you and your other friends wonder who could have so little fun playing games. You make the effort to invite them back, change up the choices for things to do, but they simply become more and more disinterested and bored by it. So you stop inviting them because they've made it clear they're not going to enjoy themselves.

They can be kind of thoughtless, too. Telling you to quit whining when you lament feeling out of sorts or that you have the crazy thought you're being excluded from others (friends or otherwise). They sometimes rub things in your face when you grump about your own stress. "Well, I have a job and a social life!" "I came out of winter the thinnest!" You don't want to say anything because your complaints sound petty, but now you're upset about biting your tongue and not telling a friend that their words can sting.

So you minimize your contact with them. You're not mean about it and you're not rude. You say 'hello' when you see them outside, you talk to them when your paths cross, but you don't go out of your way to do stuff with them. Maybe it's not the best course of action, but they're not your only friend and you have other things going on in your life.

Then you get the inquiry.

"Why do you hate us? You've made it painfully obvious since we've gotten here that we're unwelcomed, and I'd like to know why. I've just gotten the feeling that both of you are just looking for reasons to be rude."

You wonder where these assumptions came from. You wonder how someone could assume you hate them when you've been nothing but pleasant to them. You wonder where the unwelcoming feeling could come from when you invited them to places initially all the time - Thanksgiving, trips up to Cleveland, game night, etcera. When they stopped being interested or you simply wanted to do something alone or with your partner, you didn't invite them because, well, you're not obligated to take your friends everywhere you go.

You wonder how you've been rude. And when. Especially when you received rudeness and the dirtiest look ever when you ran into them just recently at a bar.

You wonder what the differences are between the world you're living in and theirs and if their definitions of things are altered.

And you don't hate them, you just don't know how to tell them that you don't like hanging out with them all the time without them thinking you hate them. And you're not sure how to approach the issue without sounding like a complete bitch, because you're not trying to be a bitch, but you're not going to go out of your way to make others happy while sacrificing your own happiness in the process.



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
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and we all know how to fake it, baby

Way too long since my last post. I kept meaning to write something, but then I'd get distracted by other things and never get around to it.

Spring semester is over. C in my Media, Power, and Culture class, Incomplete in my Literature class - which means I need to get cracking on what I need to finish for it now. But, honestly, I just took a much needed break after busting my ass for two weeks and then freaking out about declaring my major and getting my work study money sorted out so I could actually, you know, work. I missed out on a couple days because of that and, while I tried to do open/close for two days at the library, it just didn't quite happen. Then I was all gross and crampy last week, so I took two days off to lay around the house and feel like crap in the comfort of my own home. Now I'm back on track (aside from the loss of a day of work on Memorial Day, when the library was closed, but I can make that up here and there through the rest of the week).

I need to do the satisifactory progress appeal song and dance again, which shouldn't be too much of an issue, since I'm working with my instructor in regards to that Incomplete grade and I have a laundy list of reasons why I struggled so badly last semester. So once that's taken care of, hopefully everything will be in order for financial aid and starting classes in June.

Also, hoping everything works out well so I can pay all my goddamn bills and finally catch up on rent oh my god. Once I take care of that, as long as I'm doing my 28/hrs a week at work, I should be able to manage keeping on top of rent and stuff.



At the beginning of the month, I told off a guy for exposing himself on the bus:
Okay, here's the story about an exposed penis on the bus.

I'm on the Interurban bus, sitting all the way in the back by the window because I'm going all the way out to Downtown Ravenna and it reduces my chance of someone sitting directly next to me. I get on in Downtown Kent. At the stop by Starbucks, an older man (probably fifties or sixties - thin, grey hair, glasses, has a reuseable bag full of whatever). He doesn't have his change out, but the bus pulls off to C-Midway anyhow because, I guess, the driver assumes he'll have it out by then.

While he's digging his fare out, I squint because it looks like he's wearing this super tight shorts and, for a brief moment, I'm wondering if he's not just wearing boxers. But he's not sitting near me (he's by the rear door), so I don't bother myself with it.

At C-Midway a metric fuckton of people get on the bus. Dude moves to the back of the bus, to the parallel seats that face each other. The bus is very crowded at this point, so I squeeze myself into my corner and play solitaire until they all pile out between Campus Pointe and the few stops before Walmart.

After the bus empties a bit, going counter-clockwise from myself: there's a guy sitting a seat over from me, one guy in the opposite corner from me, weird old dude, a Muslim girl and an Asian girl sitting directly in front of me and across from weird dude.

At some point, I glance over. At some point, I squint because it looks like those are actually just plain ol' boxer shorts. At some point I realize he's wearing absolutely nothing under said boxer shorts and, welp, there's someone's dick. Right there. The boxers are hiding nothing, the leg holes are wide, and there's a breeze in the bus from the open windows so HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE IT.

I make eye contact with the Asian girl in front of me, neither of us says anything. I pull my legs out from behind the seats in front of me, reach out with a foot, shove his knee and I go, "Dude, close your legs, no one wants to see your dick." No one says a word, which I'm fine with, because I didn't want to disturb the front of the bus, I just wanted this dude to stop exposing himself to the two girls in front of me who probably weren't going to say anything.

Guy looks spooked, doesn't say anything, spends the rest of the trip making a half-assed effort of trying to keep his legs closed - which he's not good at at all - while I stare him down (full eye contact, I don't think he knew how to deal with that) the entire time until I get off the bus. He spent the entire time trying to keep himself covered by adjusting his boxers, but it was pretty much futile.

I think the only saving grace was that he didn't have an erection. Which is a pretty sad upside, if you think about it. Who seriously thinks its a good idea to go out of the house IN ONLY BOXERS. DO YOU NOT SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS?


Copy/paste from Facebook because that's easier than re-writing it. It was ridiculous and sad.

I've been cleaning the fuck out of the house. The only rooms that need a hardcore clean at this point are the bedroom, my office, and the kitchen. The two former are really just cluttered with clothes and stuff, nothing special. My office seems especially bad because it's so small. The kitchen is mostly just dishes, which I still loathe and I should probably do some of tonight because our water may be off tomorrow. They wouldn't give me an extension until Friday, which I think is ridiculous, and I can't seem to get anyone interested in commissions to get the cash together so I can pay it in the morning.



Friend Kelson stopped by last week, which was awesome because we never ever get to see him since he's either busy or living down in Columbus now! He hung out for a few hours before departing into the night.

Last weekend we went to a bonfire at a friend's place and it was really nice! I saved a mama wolf spider and I acquired a deer skull. We also played a bunch of Just Dance and a card game called Pit. It was a good time and, while we were waffling on going at first, I'm glad we did.



I haven't been drawing a whole lot in the last two weeks, but I signed up for ArtSlam, which I'm looking forward to! I think it'll be a fun challenge.



Last week, I went for a walk downtown to the river and took some photos because it was a super nice day and the river was low enough that I could walk around in it.



And now, the remaining instagram spam:



And, finally, I made Tony give me a side shave/undercut the other night.





[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
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there's too much demon blood in these self appointed angels

Things I want to do this summer:

  • picnics!

  • go to the ledges - nelson ledges and/or kendall park

  • heck, go to kendall park and the cuyahoga valley nat. forest

  • train rides at peninsula!

  • great lakes medieval faire!!

  • swimming, maybe?

  • bjd zoo meet? might happen in june

  • more bonfires

  • more random shenanigans

Yesterday was really crazy, but in a good way!

In the morning, Tony and I got up to go down to the open farmer's market a block away from us. There wasn't much, since it was the first outdoor weekend they've had, but we bought some kale for Jackie, our uyromastyx, and we ran into Lysa! Then, we walked up to Gaming Grounds (which is run by Noir, who we know from Warren years ago) to see if he had any swag for Free Comic Book Day. We got little Iron Man Heroclix and talked about maybe running tabletop games and stuff like that. Tony hadn't been up there before (I'd been there once prior), either.

After, we came home and I went up to work. I thought I was going to be working from 3-9 (instead of my usual 3-6), but there was a miscommunication with picking up someone's shift and another kid came in to cover the shift I was going to take after mine. I didn't mind too much, because that meant I could go downtown and catch up with Tony and Jevin at BW3. We hadn't seen much of him all semester - due to conflicting schedules and stuff - and he wanted to hang out a bit before summer break, because he's going out of state to see his partner. So we hung out for a little bit, then he dropped us off up at campus and we met up with some of the local furries that we actually enjoy the company of (Bass, Malik, Willow, Jeff, Savanna, and Malik's girlfriend, who we hadn't met prior, but was pretty cool!). We ended up going out to Jeff's place in Streetsboro and having a bonfire and generally hanging out and bullshitting until about midnight.


(they had a really cute cat with a nub tail at Jeff's place)


It was just really nice to do something completely spontaneous and have an enjoyable day spent with friends after stressing over money and stuff. I mean, money troubles are still there, but I feel a lot better about them now, I guess? My mind's in a better place than it was two days ago, at least. Shit will work out, it always does.

Other than the money issues, I've been feeling good otherwise about a lot of things.

I've been drawing a lot more, taking my tablet to work a lot to just sketch on the larger monitors at work, and spend time doodling when I'm stuck inn the photo studio with nothing else to do. I'm feeling a lot better about my art, taking more time to tweak things and make them look better instead of sort of half-assing it or not paying attention to what I'm doing. Faces are looking better, less weaboo. Eyes are looking nicer and less anime. I still need to work on things like hands, of course, and feet. But loose gesture sketches are coming out faster and nicer and I like that.

I've been working on a set of digital pieces for Anthrocon - the main six characters from the new My Little Pony show. As much as I loathe the fandom and the bronies, I do love dumb, colorful designs. I'm basing most of the designs I'm drawing off the Equestria Girls spinoff they're going to do, which a lot of people don't like?? I like the basics of them, so whatever.




I've only inked Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie so far. All six are sketched, though the three I did after the ones above are kind of half-assed, so I'll have to clean them up and make them nicer. I'll probably make mini prints of them (4x6 or 5x7) to sell, and then maybe make some larger prints and paint some colorful frames and put them in the art show if I'm able to.

I might also one or two personal (my own character) pieces in the art show, if I can hash something out this week and maybe use the printer at work. We'll see. I really don't know what sort of merch to take/make to AC because I don't want to be stuck doing commissions all weekend. I've still got two months, though, so I'm sure I'll figure something out.

I'm also thinking about trying to do basic reference sheets for my main characters that I use/draw frequently (Phe, Gwen, Max, Tegan, Poe, Sahariel, etc.). Probably just a ref for their markings and body shape without clothes (because none of them have the same body shape - Gwen is pear-shaped with big hips, Poe is slender but busty, Phe is somewhat athletic, Tegan is thin and doesn't have a lot in the way of hips and boobs, etc.), and then what they normally wear - something to show the style of clothing they dress in.

I'll probably use stock photos for them - cause I want the pose to reflect their personality/character a bit, and it's a bit faster to sketch over stock photos and keep everyone looking similar-ish when it comes to the style anyhow. I've only started on Phe so far, however.



And, for good measure, two other little doodles from recently:



Alexis and Phoenix Shepard - my Mass Effect Shepard who's based on Phe, which is kind of self-explainatory by the name! I'm pretty proud of her face. I need to go back in and do some tweaking and fix her ear, but she's coming together pretty well so far!



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
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laugh, i nearly died

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING USEFUL CLASSWORK-WISE THIS LAST WEEK.

Naturally.

ENG-25005-600-201310: LITERATURE IN THE US II
  • Reading Response #3

  • Essay #1

  • Reading Response #4

  • Criticism and Context Report #3

  • Extra Credit


JMC-20001-200-201310: MEDIA, POWER AND CULTURE
  • Journal 02 - Media Effects and Research

  • Journal 08 - Radio

  • Journal 09 - Television

  • Journal 11 - Electronic Journalism

  • Journal 12 - Public Relations

  • Journal 13 - Advertising

  • Session 08 Quiz (Radio)

  • Media Literacy Assignment 3

  • Media Literacy Assignment 4

  • Media Literacy Assignment 5

  • Media Literacy Assignment 6

  • Extra Credit

My Media stuff isn't that difficult, it's just a pain in the butt. I have to watch a news program for one of those journals and I just keep procrastinating on the extra credit, which i'll probably do this week. My Lit stuff is...I'm going to have to bust ass on it. Probably a lot of staying at the library late this week.



Our internet is off at the house. Didn't have the $75 to pay it, so. Might not get turned back on until later this month. My paycheck is only going to be a little over $200 on Friday and I have to figure out how I'm going to pay on the electric ($88) and give something towards rent (which I'm a month and a hald behind on). I can only hope that, on the 2nd, we hear something good about Tony's tax refund because that shit is getting ridiculous.

But I start back at the bookstore on Friday. I need to find out if the resource room an the photo studio are going to be open during finals week AND I need to get up with an advisor so I can pick out my summer classes. Ugh. I'd been trying to schedule online, but it kept telling me there were no appointments available. The only walk-in day they have is o n Wednesday and I'm usually never up here then. I probably will be this week, so I'll have to pop in. Pain in the ass.



But past financial woes and school being stressful, things have been pretty good otherwise. On Saturday, the local NEO Furs group had a meetup, as someone's mother is a professional photographer and offered to get pics of all the fursuiters and stuff. It was pretty fun and it was cool to meet new people aside from those we already know.



I also took my BJD, Desma, down to take some photos of her. Despite the fact she hasn't been painted/blushed yet, it was nice to get something other than just photos of her in my office.





I've also been meaning to post about it, but I got a new tablet! Bob bought me a 10x6 Monoprice for my birthday back at the beginning of the month and wow is it nice wow.



It's seriously larger than my laptop. But the side buttons are nice and the shortcuts at the top are super nice, too, and can be re-configured, which is awesome! I've had some fiddly driver issues, but it hasn't been a huge deal overall.



In other news, I went to the ER on Friday because I started developing a toothache and there was no way I was going to put up with that kind of pain. So I ended up spending my last $15 on antibiotics and painkillers. I can't say it was a bad decision.



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
passum

should've known you'd bring me heartache

Here comes more bitching/whining/angsting. I swear I'll post something that's not that after this.

I officially need to BUST ASS on my classwork if I don't want to get an Incomplete and have to finish up my work over the summer. As it stands right now, these are the things I have to do (which is partially for my own reference, so I don't have to flip flop between each course on Blackboard) that's OVERDUE in the next...what, three weeks? Two weeks? I don't even know.

ENG-25005-600-201310: LITERATURE IN THE US II
  • Reading Response #3

  • Essay #1

  • Reading Response #4

  • Criticism and Context Report #3

  • Extra Credit

The RRs and C&Cs are pretty short, I just have to read the material for them and then force them out. The Essay, I have most of my material for it, I just never got around to putting it together. I think the Extra Credit is just a RR, really. The instructor isn't docking points for anything being late - even if it was something that was due at the beginning of the semester. He realized he kind of overloaded us, so he's just working with us so we can get our material done and get a good grade out of the class. I don't know yet if we're going to have a Final Exam essay, but I'm thinking we may not. Which is good.

JMC-20001-200-201310: MEDIA, POWER AND CULTURE
  • Journal 02 - Media Effects and Research

  • Journal 08 - Radio

  • Journal 09 - Television

  • Journal 11 - Electronic Journalism

  • Session 08 Quiz (Radio)

  • Media Literacy Assignment 3

  • Media Literacy Assignment 4

  • Media Literacy Assignment 5

  • Extra Credit

This looks like a lot, but it's really been me procrastinating because this teacher doesn't seem to be docking points for later assignments, either. The Journals are 400 word minimum over the subject we studied that week. The Media Literacy assignments are 150 word disccusion board posts over a question relating to that specific week's material. That weird, errant quiz was a fuckup with Blackboard and I have to re-take it (despite taking it already) because there's no way to prove my grade. The Extra Credit is a 100pt research project we can participate in.

I need to take a night where the library is open 24/7 and stay there until I get all the little things done so I don't have any distractions. For some reason, being somewhere that isn't my office or at home, I feel more motivated or in the right mindset to work on classwork. Hunkering down at the library in the middle of the night is good for that.

I'm probably going to try to power through the Media Literacy assignments while I'm at work, since they're the shortest/smallest things on the list. Hopefully I can use this list as a reference and strike things out as I finish them.



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
passum

but, oh, my heart was flawed

Today was unbelieveably frustrating. It felt like literally one thing after another was purposely fucking up when it came to getting anything done.

The plan was: Bookstore > Financial Aid > Catch Bus to Target Plaza > Errands > Grab Bus Back > Work at 3PM

This didn't happen. At all.

I had to go up to the bookstore to fill out my tax forms (a ten minute ordeal - tops) around noon, so I planned on catching the bus at 12:03PM and I'd probably get to the bookstore around 12:20PM or so, after catching the on-campus bus (I also have to wait about 8-10 minutes from the time listed on the schedule, because that's when it leaves Indian Valley, not when it stops by my house). Well, that was a cute idea, but the bus that was supposed to be there didn't get there until 12:30PM. Fabulous. Then. I had to wait at least eight minutes for a Campus Loop to come around and, by the time I got up to the student center, it was almost 1PM and my manager had already left to take his lunch (which is fine, of course). He had waited about ten minutes after 12:30PM for me, which I appreciated, but I just left him a note that I'd come in at the beginning of the week on my day off.

So then we had twenty minutes or so to waste until the bus out to Target would be at C-Midway. We hung around the student center for about ten minutes, then went to catch the bust up to front campus. We ended up taking one of the Loop Rd. buses (which are stupid as fucking shit I hate them so goddamn much) and it took way longer than the Campus Loop buses take to get to front campus and, as you can imagine, our bus had already been there and gone.

At that point, we said fuck it to saving money and avoiding driving and decided to go home and take the car. We were trying to avoid having to put gas in, since we were on empty, and save money by taking the buses. But, apparently, the universe did not want us to do that.

While sitting on the bus back home, I realized that I was supposed to work at the Photo Studio at NOON. At some point during the last two weeks when a co-worked asked me to switch shifts, my brain morphed the shift into 3-6 from 12-3. So I managed to totally bail on my shift, lose out on three hours of work (which would have been two more than I normally get), and probably make myself look like a major flake.

After getting home and getting gas, the whole day tipped into the absurd when we took the back way down Franklin Ave. and...got held up by a train.

Then, cue frustrations about getting the animals litter and food. Finnick has to have a non-grain food because otherwise he breaks out in scabs and stuff and I had bought him a small bag of Taste of the Wild and he was doing great on it - almost all his scabs cleared up (he still has access to the regular food, because I don't put it up, but he doesn't eat it often because he lets us know when he'd like fed), but in the last week, he ran out, so his scabs were already popping back up. Which meant I had to buy him some new food but, of course, anything non-grain is expensive. I got a medium bag of Before Grain, since it was on clearance at the pet store, but it was still $20 despite this. Hopefully, though, it'll last him awhile.

After errands, I'm left with $125. I can choose to:
-- pay on rent, which i'm a month and a half behind on (this month + some of march)
-- pay my electric - $88 - which i have to pay because i'm on pipp and if i don't pay, they'll shut my service off
-- pay my water, which i haven't recieved a shut off notice for yet, but i'm sure i will soon

I probably wouldn't be half as frustrated if I could get some commissions to help offset this, at least. But even when I drop my prices down to $5 for sketches, I get nothing. And I'm sitting behind my computer going ????? WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT and it's so frustrating. I have no idea what else to offer that's in my ability that people will buy. Maybe I'll make a graphic to post what I'm offering or something, so there's something more visual, I don't know.

The IRS STILL hasn't sent out Tony's tax refund. We don't think it's going to get here until May, which is so goddamn frustrating I could cry (and I have, to be honest). That grand would be so helpful, even if just to catch up on rent and I can deal with everything else. Just something to get us over this hump.

The money situation will likely be better next month, because I'll have the remainder of the semester paychecks, plus bookstore money, plus more hours at the library after the semester ends. But that doesn't change the frustration and helplessness I'm feeling now, unfortunately.



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
passum

oh boy your eyes betray what burns inside you

So.

I turned 30 yesterday.

It's uncomfortable I wasn't comfortable at 27, either. I remember having a really hard time when I turned 27 and I couldn't place why. I still can't place why. I can't place why I'm uncomfortable turning 30, either. Is it because it took so long to get me where I am now? Because everything always says you should do college at 18 and you should have a career and a house and a life at 25 and when you hit 30 you should feel fulfilled and happy and successful?

I mean, I obviously know this is bullshit, but there's something that just feels weird about it.

Is it because my mentality is stuck somewhere between a giggling fangirl and an adult that doesn't have time for bullshit? Is it because I tout the concept of 'you're only as old as you feel' and I don't feel old AT ALL but the number betray that and sometimes I feel really awkward trying to make friends with people at school because they're a decade younger than me. I know that's ridiculous, since I have friends of all ages already and everyone matures differently and all that shit.

And 30 isn't old. 30 is, maybe one third of your life. That's not much at all.

Like I said, it's hard to put into words. It's just a subtle discomfort on some weird existential level. I felt it at 19. I felt it at 27. I feel it now at 30. It'll pass and I'll probably go back to forgetting my age and telling people I'm 'twenty-something' when they ask anyhow.



But enough about my weird existential crisis.

Yesterday was nice! We didn't do anything special or anything, but Tony and I went to the movies with some local furries and it was pretty great! We went to see Jurassic Park 3D, which still looks amazing twenty years later. We had a lot of fun chatting and we're hoping to do movie nights more often. Hell, I'll go see bad movies for cheap if we can all laugh about them afterwards.

But it's nice to be meeting new people and making new friends. Especially for Tony. He was really proud of himself yesterday because he handled his anxiety so well and, like he mentioned later, it's nice to be around people who don't look at you weird when you tell them you have social anxiety or agoraphobia or are transgender or whatever.

Then, I found Kahlua custard at Acme and yes.

Also, Bob bought me a Monoprice tablet after - out of nowhere - asking what I'd like of my Amazon wishlist (which was a clusterfuck at the time). He mentioned having a Bamboo if I would like a new tablet, but it was the same size as my decade old Graphire. So I suggested the Monoprice tablet because it's inexpensive and, well, there you go. It's was supposed to be here today, but unless it's coming by something other than USPS, it'll probably be here tomorrow, as there was no package on the porch. But I'm looking forward to it! It's 6x10, which is about double the size of my Graphire and has shortcuts on the tablet and everything.



Unrelated to my birthday and sundry, I'll be back at the Bookstore at the end of the month. Hopefully I can transition my hours smoothly, since I'll be done at VCD after finals week, I think, and then I'll just have to figure out my summer library hours.



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
passum

blood stains, ball gowns, trashin’ the hotel room

I've been bad about updating! Which totally defeats the inital purpose of, you know, using my journal again.

I'm sitting at work in the MACC Annex, listening to the wrestlers (I think) in the next room over have practice or something. They're making a lot of noise, is all I know, and I'm trying to counter it with music, since there's no one in the Photo Studio right now.

My laptop is back in working condition! My power cord eventually went completely kaput and I snagged another one for, like, $10 on Amazon. Looks like that was the problem, which is nice. I mean, I still can't use my laptop without the cord, because my battery is shot, but that doesn't bother me. I also reformatted it and it runs a bit better. But it's also something like three years old, so it's to be expected that it's lagging behind a little. I don't know if I want to buy more RAM for it, or just buy a new laptop. I'm so attached to my stupid sticker-covered laptop, though.

I was sick over the tail end of spring break last week. A head cold was going around work at the library and I'd avoided it until the weekend or so when kicked my ass. I was congested and couldn't breath or swallow well and all I did was sleep. I couldn't keep myself awake and I was just constantly tired. There's a little of it lingering still, but it's nice to feel human again. Especially because the weather's finally warmed up significantly and I've been wanting to spend time both outside and cleaning the house.

We're planning on pulling almost everything out of Tony's craft room downstairs and organizing things to be easily find-able and accessible. I wish I had the extra money to get some nice organization things, but I don't right now. The biggest issue is finding the best way to store all the bolts and yards of fur he has so they don't get dirty and the cats don't lay on them and them still be easy to pull out and use and put away. But we'll see what we can do. Worst case scenario, we buy some more of the plastic shelving things we're using for fur now.

I just want to get all the mess/clutter organized and cleaned up. I want to put away fall/winter things and pull out spring/summer stuff. I'd like for everything to be nice and neat and easy to find, really. I want the living room to be nice and neat because sometimes I'd like to spend time downstairs or have a second television where we can play games or invite people over to hang out with. Our main TV is in the bedroom and it's always a clusterfuck (mostly clutter, let's be honest here) and small and not exactly condusive to having people over or anything.

I'm also thinking about pulling everything out from my office and re-organizing it. But everything's so precariously placed in there right now that it might not be worth the trouble?? i have two desks and my desktop comp in there and I'd like for my one window to be fully accessible (there's a desk in front of it right now and I can open/close it, but maybe I'd just like to, I don't know, toss the papasan cushion down in front of it and nap in the sun or something?

I don't know, a lot of brainstorming needs to happen before I do anything with that. I can spill some of my stuff out into the landing (like my bookcase, for example), because there's plenty of room out there and I'm probably going to put the cat's stupid cardboard house into the extra bedroom - which is basically their room anyhow.

I also need to plant my veggies and stuff! I don't want to procrastinate on it forever this year because I'd really like to get a harvest out of them.



I've been trying to draw a bit more (and get some commissions to help with rent/whatever).




Two requests I did and one commission and a gift for a patient commissioner~

I've also been working on my dolls! Well, mostly on Poe. I want to blush Desma's body with pastel, but it's not working really well, so I'm putting her on the backburner for now. In the meantime, Poe's been progressing nicely.




I've been writing a lot about my progress and such over on my doll blog, so I won't rehash it all here. I need to pick up some better acrylic paints, but so far she's coming along well. I haven't done the markings on her body yet, though.



And now, some Instagram spam~



I also made a seperate flickr account for all my book cover photos, as well: raggedpages



So a bit back, we switched Finnick over to some Taste of the Wild cat food, because he'd been breaking out in scabs and we couldn't figure out why. It wasn't hurting him, they were just a bit itchy and never seemed to go away, even with baths and such. We thought he was allergic to the flea meds, but then we thought it might be a food allergy.

Which is pretty much exactly what it is.

Since we've switched him over to a higher quality food, his scabs are almost completely gone and no more have broken out at all. He's probably allergic to something stupid, like corn or whatever they use to fluff out the standard cat foods. He doesn't eat the other food at all anymore, but we have to feed him by himself because I can't afford to switch them all over to the more expensive food. But at least he's smart enough to come and let us know when he's hungry.

The other cats are doing well, which I'm thankful for. They're all stoked about the warmer weather, too. The other animals are good, too. I have to pick up some more food for the ratties and clean out their cages (and pair them up, which I've been procrastinating on) this week.

I'm sure there's things I've missed that I'll remember right after posting and go 'why didn't I write about that??'.



See, I knew I'd forget something!

I'm going to be making a Commander Shepard cosplay for Anthrocon (yeah, I know, that doesn't make a lot of sense) because Tony is going to try to do a Geth or a Turian and I just want an excuse to wear awesome armor, dye my hair red, and yell at people.

I'm pretty happy that I found great pattern templates for the armor, too. Now it's just a matter of figuring out how much EVA foam I'll need and then, you know, actually piece things together. I don't think it'll be too difficult, just time (and money) consuming. Especially since I'll need to get a decent undersuit to wear and, likely some kind of compression/spanx thing so I don't look like a fatty. I mean, I have a spanx thing, but it's prone to rolling up. I might buy one of the bodysuit-ish ones, with the shorts or whatever that's all one piece.

But hopefully we can also cobble together what we need for whatever Tony decides to do. The biggest obstacle for him will be a mask, I think. Or, if he does a turian, that damn collar thing.



[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]